So I'm sitting here right now at my desk. I've got roughly about 10 months left in the army, and about 2 completed hours of college. I have no jobs lined up, I've got nothing to really rely on other than Jesus and my fiance, and I'm not really sure what needs to happen.
I'm scared, there I said it. I'm freaking out a little bit. I had this realization the other day that I'm going to be married. I mean, I can barely function as an individual, let alone becoming one flesh with this wonderful woman of mine. I am freaking out, because I have no way of making sure that I am set up and established, and I'm a little bit angry with God at the moment, because I'm not sure where He needs me. I get a little tire of wallowing around in the dark trying to find Gods only match.
I mean, how am I going to get a job with no real job skills or a degree. I mean, contrary to what the recruiters tell you, most places could care less that you served in the military. How am I going to take care of my future wife. How will I have heath care, and a place to live. Where do I go from here? How do I get a job that allows me to have what I need, what she and I will need.
I just don't know how long I can take this, I mean, everyone is begging me to reenlist, and some of it sounds good to me, but most of it does not. The army is a hard life, and not one that I would like to put a future marriage through. So now what?
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